dear rain,
           i realise you are very important and beautiful, watching you cleanse this grubby world makes me smile. i realise that you are are wonderfulll and i love you as much as i love anything else, however, please can you calm down just a little. you'll have loads of time over winter, please just give the sun a little centre stage for a while.
kind regards, your friend alice :) xxxx

"At this moment, an employee in a grocery store is setting out genetically engineered produce rather than tending the garden in her own yard;
A dishwasher is sweating over a steaming sink while dishes stack up unwashed in his kitchen at home;
A line cook is taking orders from strangers instead of cooking for a neighborhood barbecue;
An advertising executive is composing jingles for laundry detergent rather than making up bedtime stories for his nieces;
A poor woman is watching rich people's children at a daycare program rather than spending time with her own;
A child is being dropped off there to be cared for by strangers rather than those who know and love him;
A sociology student is doing an ethnographic study of squatters rather than actually participating in the activities that interest her;
An activist, tired from a hard day's work, is putting on a Hollywood movie for entertainment;
A man who could be exploring his sexuality with a partner is masturbating to internet pornography;
A demonstrator who has unique perspectives and reasons to protest is carrying a prefabricated sign issued by a bureaucratic organization;
And a would-be revolutionary who left behind everyting he knew to pursue an engaged, beautiful, meaningful life is making references to television programs with his fellow dropouts in utter boredom and dejection.
The system runs on the blood and sweat of our hijacked lives. The more we invest ourselves in surviving according to its terms, the more difficult it is to do otherwise. Seizing back our time and energy from its jaws is the essence of and the precondition for any real resistance.
The paralyzing commonsense notion that everyone, even the most radical, plays a role in the status quo hides the subversive possibility that all of us - even radicals - can refuse our roles. Dropping out means refusing to play our parts, removing ourselves from the circuitry and reclaiming our lives.
If you are a student, it means rejecting institutional instruction in favor of self-education.
If you are an employee, it means refusing to take orders, ceasing to sell your time and labor and conscience for a wage, and developing projects of your own, instead.
If you are a tenant, it means not fattening the pockets of landlords, but inventing new ways to secure and use space.
If you are a consumer, it means ceasing to make purchases, reducing your needs, and finding other sources for what you require.
If you are a producer, it means seizing the means of production, and applying - or not applying - them outside the logic of capitalism.
If you are a traveler, it means going off the beaten path.
If you are an artist, it means living creatively, not creating commodities in place of life.
If you are a girl or boy, it means becoming inscrutable to the gender binary system, a living counterexample to the equation All ___s are ___.
If you are a lover, it means refusing the expectations and obligations of conventional romance.
If you have white skin, it means challenging the racist structures that make this an advantage.
In a hierarchical society, it means refusing to command or obey.
In legal terms, it means ceasing to recognize the authority of judges, courts, and police, sorting out conflicts without recourse to armed strangers or impersonal institutions and defending yourself and your community against their incursions.
In moral terms, it means rejecting the authority of any code beyond the dictates of your own conscience, becoming a law unto yourself.
In aesthetic terms, it means shunning conventional norms in order to develop new standards and values.
In political terms, it means refusing to be represented or to represent others, finding ways to wield political power outside the established channels.
In terms of socialization, it means unlearning your conditioning so that you neither accept your prescribed role nor impose such roles upon others.
In terms of ambition, it means redefining success.

And if you are already a dropout, it means finding ways to reconnect to others on your own terms."

Dropping Out: A Revolutionary vindication of Refusal, Marginality, and Subculture, Rolling Thunder #2
Crimethinc Ex-Workers Collective

oh my word. i havn't touched this journal in a very very long time. my house in Dartington is amazing, no television, no internet, creaks, sqeaks and giant windows...and now i'm back home, and i'm wasting time and i sould be other things and not so suprisingly i got the impulse to write in thee ol' live journal. so here i am.
to be honest so much has happened i really wouldn't know where to start, but Dartington is amazing. too amazing, in the way that now if ever i'm sad i start to feel a real gut wrenching guilt because i'm so so so lucky that i don't think i'm entitled to frown ever again. the people are among the most beautiful i have ever ever met, everyone is so inspirational, kind and creative, i'm perminantly in awe. the colleges entire outlook is completely...gygsfgwbejkwejg!!!! i can't believe they even exist, its so refreshing to be in such a nourishing atmosphere where everyone is on such an equal level and theres so much support to just completely express...anything, everything, argh its just amazing. nothing shocks them and at the same time theres this amazing inocence in the air where it feels as if we're all seeing everything for the first time and theres no right or wrong, better or worse...i know i found the right place. and not to mention its possible the most green and lushiously gorgeous campus ever. theres a tree older than christ in the gardens, thats just brilliant :)
anyway, other than being in love and feeling guilty about things which aren't going so well in other areas of my life...which deserve no dwelling anyway, i'm going on holiday! we were orginally going to drive across europe to visit Jez's grandfather who lives in a gypsy village among the karpathian mountains...it was possibly the most exciting trip to plan, but due to my NO money problem, car problems and other fuss, it simply wasn't the right time. but i'm sure we'll do it in the next few years when things are a little easier. instead mid July we're now flying [badbadbad] to Berlin, hitching/trainjumping/crawling to Krakow, down to Budapest, up to Bratislava, though to Vienna and ending up in Prague to stay with Jez's great aunt for a few days before flying [badddddddd] home at the end of August. i'm really looking forward to it, despite the fact of spraining both my ankles last week and being told yesterday that they'll take 6 weeks to heal when i've only got 3 before i go. but nevermind, my cankles and i shall be fine i'm sure. as well as Dartington being amazing, its mostly international students...which is appearing to be handy and wonderful to have a scattering of beautiful europian people to visit on the way...as well as brilliant for stealing sofa space ;)
next year the plan is to take two/three months to hitch to mosco with a group of fartingtons, i've got the itchest feet as well as the most swollen.
anyway i think i've suitably wasted enough time here and need to get some fresh air, sending all my love out to you and particularly huge hugs to Alanna whom i feel far away from right now. [i hope you're ok beautiful!]
hugs hugshuuuugss to you all :)::):):):):):) best wishes
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

my final major project. horray! no more pcad :)

 
 

Mr Stein is in Morocco.
i miss him
x

again this is essentially an update for dear Anna, but i will also use this post for promotion....ha, cheap skate. but my work is hanging in the Brownston gallery in Modbury, only three pieces but if anyone was passing through that way...Modburys a nice place anyway, theres the perfect house for me there. my works up til Febuary the 13th? or 14th i think? but nevermind.

i'm updating my friend whom is far away,
so the rest of you will have to put up with alot of pictures for the next couple of posts.
hello Anna :)

"i hold my hands under water and there i keep them,
you hold your feet under water and there you keep them."
Honey is Cool

'Well I ain't sure, but I been told
He's baking cakes inside our souls
Stayed awake, took a nap
Got myself my bottles back
I'm breakin' them out on the street
Walkin' around in my bare feet
I do not need you to tell me that I am not a cat
I caught a ride, we caught some air
He's never gonna cut his hair
It takes more time to make a fake
We night swam down in the lake
Washed the dirt off our intentions
Prattle on 'bout bad inventions
I came as ice, I came as a whore
I came as advice that came too short
I came as gold, I came as crap
I came clean and I came as a Rat
It takes a long time, but God dies too
But not before he'll stick it to you
Well I don't know, but I been told
You never die and you never grow old
Uh oh!
I came as a call, I came as flat
I came too soon so I came back
I came as flowers, I came as nice
I came as dirt and I came as its price
It takes a long time, but God dies too
But not before he'll stick it to you
I don't know, but I been told
You never die and you never grow old'

i know this is long, but please please read it. i love David Tibet so sosososoos much.
if you havn't heard this song, i recommend it entirely, its the most fairy tale creepcreepcreakkk song in the world.

"when everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
when everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
when all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
as by a shining brainless beacon
or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
when you are calm and joyful
and finally entirely alone
then in a great new darkness